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Friday, 16 May 2014

Pixel Punk's Top 5 Annoying Female Game Characters

Today I'll be taking you on a trip to the tiny part of my mind that spends precious time thinking about topics as useless as this one.

Here for your amusement, and potential agreement, is 'Pixel Punk's Top 5 Annoying Female Game Characters'...catchy ain't it?

5. Yorda from 'Ico'

She's listed at number 5 because, out of this list, she is the one I tolerate most, purely based on my love of the game itself.
Not only is Yorda actually the older of the two characters, she also serves as proof that 16 year old girls are useless!
She needs help with everything...all of the time!

Poor Ico being a young, naive whippersnapper decides to be brave, and puts up with her crap for the entire length of time it takes you to finish this game.
At least once you've finished, you can play back through the game in a pseudo two player mode, where whoever draws the short straw can take control of Yorda...lucky bastard!

4. Ashley Graham from 'Resident Evil 4'

Your main job as Leon isn't to watch your own back, but to constantly babysit and often times protect the President's daughter. This is quite possibly the video game equivalent of 'Escape From LA', the sequel that saw Snake Plissken once again being manipulated but this time to rescue the President's daughter, even though she was an ungrateful idiot.
Without this plot device being in the game, then technically there would be no need for Leon to even visit Spain...*cough* I mean 'Europe' *cough*. And with no reason to go, then nobody would have stopped Las Plagas from being spread, which is a welcome fate for the world compared to taking control of Ashley for a section of this game...with no weapons.

Thanks Capcom!

3. Sherry Birkin from 'Resident Evil 2'

There was a reason I favoured playing as Leon instead of Claire on Resident Evil 2, and that reason is Sherry Birkin. At least during Leon's story you meet and control Ada Wong, who is equally as useful as the games protagonists.

Sherry is the daughter of William and Annette Birkin, and is one of the only two playable characters in the Resident Evil series who doesn't wield weapons. Furthermore, she only has her zombie dodging abilities to survive, which coupled with her incredibly irritating dialogue makes you wish you could reach into the screen and slap her.

2. Navi from 'Zelda: Ocarina of Time'

Hey! Listen!
A favourite in the number one position on many 'annoying' lists scattered around the internet, Navi spends every waking minute trying to ruin your enjoyment of playing one of the greatest Nintendo games ever created.
Seriously...try playing without getting annoyed!

1. Princess Peach from 'Super Mario' games

Without a doubt, the most annoying female character!

How many times can this woman get kidnapped without even thinking of increasing the defences at the castle she lives in, or buying a rape alarm or something? Speaking of the castle, if Peach is the Princess, then where the hell are the King and Queen?
Surely Bowser would kidnap Peach for some kind of ransom from them?
And every time Mario comes to the rescue, what does he get? A frikkin' cake!

No wonder he's the fatter of the two brothers.


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